It wouldn’t be Christmas without ‘A Christmas Story,’ the 1983 movie that became an instant holiday classic thanks to its winning cast and quotable scenes. The New York Daily News tracked down the gang from fictional Hohman, Indiana, who brought the ‘original, traditional, one-hundred-percent, red-blooded, two-fisted, all-American Christmas’ tale to life.

And wait until you see who’s made a porno!

Ralphie Parker, played by Peter Billingsley, had just one Christmas wish as a nine-year-old in the 1940s: an official Red Ryder carbine-action 200-shot range model air rifle, with a compass in the stock and ‘this thing which tells time.’ Teachers, parents and even Santa himself dismissed Ralphie’s BB gun pleas, telling him, ‘You’ll shoot your eye out.’

Now 37, Billingsley works behind the camera as a producer for films like this year’s ‘Iron Man‘ and ‘Four Christmases.’ You can catch him on-screen in both of those movies, a handful of TV cameos, and an uncredited role in the 2003 Christmas flick ‘Elf.’

Darrin McGavin played Ralphie’s profanity-unleashing father (and my favorite charachter), known to his sons as The Old Man.

McGavin’s long, varied career included big-screen, small-screen and stage roles, as well as producing, directing and writing credits. He passed away in 2006 at the age of 83.

As Ralphie’s doting mother, Melinda Dillon was always on hand to wash his mouth out with soap or pass out the pink bunny pajamas.

Dillon starred as Rose Gator in the 1999 film ‘Magnolia,’ among other movie and TV roles.

Ian Petrella played Randy Parker, Ralphie’s adorable little bro who struggled with picky eating habits and a bulky snowsuit that wouldn’t let him put his arms down.

These days, Petrella, far r., focuses on animation and puppetry rather than acting.

Recognize those other two guys? That’s Scott Schwartz and Yano Anaya (l.-r.), who also had childhood roles in ‘A Christmas Story‘…

Scott Schwartz played Ralphie’s pal Flick, who landed himself in a sticky situation after falling victim to the dreaded triple dog dare when he stuck his tongue on the flagpole outside school.

As a child, Schwartz co-starred in the hilarious comedy “The Toy” co-starring Richard Pryor and Jackie Gleason.

The grown-up Schwartz has starred in a few films that weren’t so family-friendly – including skin flick  ‘Scotty’s X-Rated Adventure.’

Yano Anaya was Grover Dill (r.), the toady henchman to the ultimate yellow-eyed schoolyard bully Scut Farkus.

Farkus was portrayed by Zack Ward, who’s still acting as an adult.

Ward went on a rampage as Postal Dude in the horror-comedy ‘Postal‘ (2007). You’ll shoot your eye out, kids!

R.D. Robb (Ralphie's friend Schwartz), Ian Petrella (Randy), Peter Billingsley (Ralphie), director Bob Clark, Scott Schwartz (Flick) and Zack Ward (Scut Farkus).

And then there’s that shining beacon of “electric sex,” the famous leg lamp, prized possession and major award of Ralphie’s dad.

It met a tragic end in the movie, but a replica stands in the renovated Cleveland home where the film was shot.

Now, a leg lamp glows in the window of the Christmas Story House and Museum in Cleveland’s Tremont neighborhood. Brian Jones restored the three-story, wood-frame house to its appearance in the movie.

The house was opened to the public in 2006 as the Christmas Story House and Museum.